


Don't Dream It's Over

by brightstagelights



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/F, I made Ilse the bad guy I'm SORRY, I'm Sorry, It's pretty mild though, Moritz and Martha and Anna are all sweethearts, Please be gentle, Songfic, TW for abusive/toxic relationships, Verbal Abuse, but someone had to be the bad one, this was my first time writing angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 06:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14994962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightstagelights/pseuds/brightstagelights
Summary: Request: how about a wendilse fic, inspired by your favorite 80s song? -h <3Inspired by "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House.Ilse keeps dreaming that her relationship is perfect but Wendla knows otherwise.





	Don't Dream It's Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hanschen_ril0w](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanschen_ril0w/gifts).



> Beta-ed by jackdaveycrutchie on tumblr 
> 
> Love you, Finch.

**_There is freedom within_ **

Ilse felt liberated with Wendla. Wendla made her feel loved, appreciated and wanted. After she left the artists’ colony—she was tired of waking up with guns pointed at her—Wendla was there to help her. Sweet, loving, caring Wendla who gave all her time to be with Ilse, to help Ilse. She would play with Ilse’s hair if she was having a rough day and she would go out of her way to make Ilse laugh, simply because she loved Ilse.

**_There is freedom without_ **

Wendla felt trapped with Ilse. When Ilse first approached her after leaving the artists’ colony, Wendla knew that she needed to do everything in her power to restore the light to her friend’s life. Soon, all the feelings that Wendla had for Ilse came rushing back but this time, there was nothing holding them back. Wendla confessed her feelings for Ilse and they began dating. However, it soon was very clear to Wendla that Ilse didn’t love her with the same passion. She loved Wendla because she was a convenience, and nothing more. She realized she was only kept around to entertain and help Ilse. She hoped she could change Ilse’s mind and started going above and beyond with her affections.

**_Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup_ **

Ilse was none the wiser that Wendla was desperately trying to fix things until she started making sly comments toward her hardship. 

“Would it kill you to try and help once in a while?”

“My day is doing fine, not that you ever ask. 

“Do you even care about me?”

“What am I to you? Because I think it’s obvious that you don’t love me.” 

**_There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost_ **

Wendla knew that her comments would spark a reaction out of Ilse; that’s why she made them. She didn’t know how to approach Ilse and have an actual conversation with her. Seeing red, Ilse would take out her frustrations on her girlfriend. 

“I’m trying to help!”

“You just don’t understand!”

“I only ask that you support me and you can’t even do that for me?” 

**_But you'll never see the end of the road while you're traveling with me_ **

Ilse would scream and Wendla would cry. Ilse would threaten to leave and Wendla would apologize, say she was only overreacting, and promise to try and better herself. It was a vicious cycle that they were both trapped in. Ilse didn’t realize the damage she was doing to Wendla and Wendla didn’t know how to properly deal with the situation because she was too afraid of hurting Ilse and their relationship. To the girls, there was no end in sight to both the ignorant bliss or the inner turmoil. 

**_Hey now, hey now_ **

Wendla wouldn’t give up, though. When they would both be crying after a fight, she would go and wrap her arms around her girlfriend and attempt to amend things. 

“Baby,” she would say. “I’m so sorry. I know you’re still dealing with the memories of the colony. It’s okay.” 

**_Don't dream it's over_ **

Ilse, sniffling with red, puffy eyes would look up at Wendla and sigh. 

“I know you’re trying to help,” she would say reluctantly. “It’s just hard, okay? But I can’t give up. And neither can you.”

**_Hey now, hey now_ **

**_When the world comes in_ **

**_They come, they come_ **

**_To build a wall between us_ **

Ilse grew suspicious of Wendla’s friends and thought that they were going to do something to ruin her relationship. She saw Martha and Anna as threats to her happiness but she couldn’t make them not like Wendla, everyone liked Wendla. So, Ilse went with a different tactic that was as effective as it was brutal. She would berate Wendla to the point where she would refuse to talk to anyone who wasn’t Ilse, in fear that she would do something to upset the girl she loved so very much. 

**_We know they won't win_ **

Wendla eventually came to the realization that she needed to break up with her girlfriend. Her friends Anna and Martha staged a pseudo-intervention. They told her that she wasn’t being herself and that she didn’t have her usual shine in her eyes. Martha was the loudest voice in all of this because she knew what abuse could do to a person. Wendla’s friends were the ones who helped her get out of that horrible situation, even though it wasn’t easy. She felt awful, kicking her best friend and lover out of her life but she knew that it was what had to be done, for both of their sakes. 

**_Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof_ **

Ilse wasn’t happy about the split. She pleaded, cried, and screamed but to no avail. Wendla was unmoving and Ilse finally realized that she took the one good thing in her life for granted. She begrudgingly left, not knowing where to go or what to do without Wendla there to guide her. She felt like she was missing something and didn’t know how she was going to survive. Ilse was lost without her light.

**_My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof_ **

Wendla sat on her bed, looking at the photographs of her and Ilse. She tried holding back the tears as she saw how happy she and Ilse used to be, before the fights and the crying. Wendla had no reason to be suspicious of the monster that Ilse would eventually turn into when the photographs were taken. She had been living in the honeymoon phase and didn’t think that Ilse could be anything but perfect. 

Now, she could look back and see how naïve she had been, how naïve she had been to assume that everything would be fine. Wendla ripped the photograph in two, realizing how wrong she was to assume. The fragments of the picture floated to the floor, and with them went every emotion Wendla was holding in. It started with one tear slipping its way onto her cheek and suddenly, she was a mess. Her shoulders shook and her breathing became ragged and she tried to calm down but to no avail. Wendla promised herself that she would stop crying eventually but that she would allow herself time to wallow in pity and sorrow. She didn’t even remember falling asleep that night. 

**_In the paper today tales of war and of waste_ **

**_But you turn right over to the T.V. page_ **

Ilse decided that the best course of action was to pretend that everything was okay. If people asked her about Wendla, she would say that it was a mutual-split and that they’re still friends. If people saw her crying, she would say that it was nothing and would refuse to open up. 

She was extremely conflicted. On one hand, Ilse missed Wendla and would do anything to get her back. On the other, she blamed her girlfriend—or, ex-girlfriend—for all of her troubles and thought that if Wendla wasn’t so sensitive, everything would be fine. There was a war raging inside Ilse’s mind and she didn’t know how to handle it nor did she have anyone to talk to about it.

**_Hey now, hey now_ **

**_Don't dream it's over_ **

Wendla still missed Ilse, despite all that she had done. She missed Ilse’s colored scarves and the way that her nose would crinkle when she laughed. She missed the late-night talks about everything and nothing all at once. Wendla missed her girlfriend but, more importantly, she missed her best friend. Of course, Martha and Anna were there for her but she didn’t have the same connection that she had had with Ilse. They didn’t have the same inside jokes or the skill to perfectly read Wendla’s facial expressions. She was grateful for them, nonetheless, but they weren’t Ilse. 

**_Hey now, hey now_ **

**_When the world comes in_ **

**_They come, they come_ **

**_To build a wall between us_ **

**_We know they won't win_ **

Ilse was sick of spending nights crying on the floor of her room. Her face seemed to always be puffy and red and her throat was always raw. When her friends would talk with her, they would have to suppress looks of pity because she looked like utter garbage. There was finally a moment, about two months after she and Wendla broke up that she started talking to someone about what happened. 

She gently knocked on the door of her friend’s room after being let in by his mother. 

“Moritz,” Ilse said as she peered her head into his room, “I want to talk about what happened with Wendla.” And talk she did. She and Moritz talked well into the early hours of the morning. He listened to her cry, scream, and talk about everything and nothing all at once.  

Eventually, once the clock was nearing four in the morning, Ilse collapsed from exhaustion. Moritz looked over at her and even though her face was extremely puffy and red, she finally looked at peace. Whether Moritz knew or Ilse knew, talking to someone about how she was feeling was the first step toward Ilse’s recovery.

**_Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum_ **

Wendla was doing better. Her friends were forcing her out of the house and it was obviously doing something positive for Wendla’s mental health. She was smiling again and Martha swore that she heard her laugh. 

She still thought about Ilse daily. She wondered how Ilse’s day was going and how she was dealing from the breakup. Her friends refused to let her see Ilse since they knew that Wendla was still too vulnerable and they were worried about what seeing Ilse would do to her. However, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, Wendla thought of Ilse less and less. It wasn’t out of malice but was finally out of healing.

**_And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart_ **

Ilse and Moritz were walking around town when it happened. They just walked out of the bookshop when Ilse immediately froze.

“Ilse,” Moritz looked concerned. “Is everything okay?”  He put his hand gently on Ilse’s shoulder to try to get her attention. 

“That’s her!” Ilse said excitedly. “It’s Wendla! Oh, Moritz, I haven’t seen her in so long. She looks so good. Oh God, I need to go and talk to her.” Ilse started to walk in the direction of Wendla and her friends but Moritz grabbed her hand to hold her back. Ilse looked back at him with a mix of confusion and hurt in her eyes. 

He sighed. “I know it’s not my place,” he started. “But maybe you should talk to Wendla when it’s just you two. You guys didn’t exactly end on the best terms.” Ilse rolled her eyes. 

“Moritz,” she said. “She was my best friend. Of course, she wants to see me. Now, if you would, let go of me.” She tugged her hand to try and get out of Moritz’s grasp but he wouldn’t let go. 

“Ilse, I know you’re hurting and you want to see her but you can’t do this right now. Not here. Not while she’s with her friends. I love you, but you tend to make scenes and that’s not what either of you needs right now.” Ilse looked down at where Moritz had his hand on her arm, then back toward Wendla and her friends, and back to Moritz. Deep down, she knew he was right. “C’mon. Let’s get going.” 

As they walked off, Ilse could’ve sworn she felt someone watching her but she didn’t want to turn around. She didn’t want to see Wendla because she knew that if she turned around, Moritz wouldn’t be able to stop Ilse from running after her again. 

**_Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof_ **

**_Get to know the feeling of liberation and release_ **

Wendla was with Martha and Anna when it happened. They were walking toward the grocer’s when Martha slowed down. 

“Martha,” Wendla asked. “What’s wrong?” Martha looked in the direction of the bookstore and Wendla tried to see what made her friend stop. 

“I’ll explain once we go in,” Martha said curtly. Wendla and Anna grew worried because Martha didn’t normally use such a strict tone of voice. Once they were inside the grocer’s, Martha turned to Wendla. “Don’t freak out,” she said, putting her arms on Wendla’s shoulders. “But, I saw Ilse and Moritz walk into Frau Wagner’s bookstore.” 

Wendla immediately filled up with dread. It was as if someone slipped ice into the back of her collar and she could feel it spreading throughout her entire body. Her fingers and toes felt numb and her knees wobbled. She sank down and clutched her knees tightly against her body. She didn’t realize that she started crying until Martha started rubbing her back and Anna was telling her that everything was going to be okay. 

“Wendla?” Anna asked. “Wendla. Look at me.” Wendla looked up from her place on the floor through her tears. “Wendla, we are not going to let her do anything to you, okay? If she even looks at you for too long, I swear I’ll go and run her over.” Wendla chuckled at this and wiped her eyes. 

As she and the girls continued to walk around the store, Martha and Anna kept doing everything in their power to make Wendla laugh. By the end of their venture, Wendla was feeling much better and assured them that she would be okay with going outside. 

Just as they walked out of the grocer’s, Ilse and Moritz left the bookstore. Wendla felt a pair of eyes on her but refused to turn around. She didn’t want to give Ilse the satisfaction of looking in her eyes. The three girls walked further and further from the grocer, toward Wendla’s house and she was proud of herself for not letting Ilse see her cry. 

In the months following the incident, Wendla’s one goal was not to forget Ilse but to stop letting Ilse affect her life as heavily. With the help of Martha and Anna, she worked on rebuilding the confidence that Ilse stripped her of. She worked on learning how to trust people again. 

She would see Ilse in public. The first few times brought back that feeling of ice and desperation. Eventually, the numbness faded out to tingles and she stopped holding her breath when seeing Ilse in public. It was still very hard to cope with everything that she went through, but she was able to say Ilse’s name without trembling and she took it as progress. 

Eventually, she would need all of that progress and strength. And God, was she glad that she had it. 

**_Hey now, hey now_ **

**_Don't dream it's over_ **

**_Hey now, hey now_ **

**_When the world comes in_ **

**_They come, they come_ **

**_To build a wall between us_ **

Ilse took a deep breath, extended her hand, and knocked on the door in front of her. She felt the anxiety pool in her stomach as she took in the reality of the situation. She knew she was crazy. She was at the house of her ex-girlfriend, who hadn’t spoken to her in months because of the ferocity of the break-up. Ilse didn’t tell anyone that she was planning on doing this, especially not Moritz because she knew he would try to stop her. 

Ilse decided she was going to try to make amends with Wendla. She knew that things would never be the same. She just wanted her friend back. As she continued getting more and more lost in her thoughts, the door opened. For the first time in months, Wendla and Ilse were face to face. 

“Wendla,” Ilse started. Before she could continue speaking, Wendla quickly grabbed the door and shut it. “Wendla,” Ilse said again, raising her voice a little so that she could be heard through the door. “Please, come back. I just want to talk.” She heard a few quiet mumbles from the other side of the door. “Can you say that again? I didn’t hear you.” 

“I said, ‘Go away.’ I don’t want you here.” 

Hearing Wendla’s broken voice made Ilse’s heart hurt, and she almost regretted coming to her house. 

“Wendla, please, just give me some time to explain myself.” Ilse waited, knowing that using force wasn’t going to get her anywhere. After almost two minutes, she sighed and turned on her heels to give up and walk away. Of course, she still wanted Wendla to hear her apology but at least she tried. 

“Fine.” Wendla opened the door and shut it behind her. “You have five minutes.” She crossed her arms and looked at Ilse, waiting for her to start talking. 

“Oh! Um, okay. So, Wendla, I just wanted to start off by saying I’m sorry. I was dealing with some extreme stuff and I know it was unfair to take it out on you. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. You are one of the kindest, gentlest people I know and if anyone else treated you that way, I know that I would’ve gone after them myself.” Ilse paused to swallow the bile that was building up in the back of her throat but was also hoping for a chuckle from Wendla. It never came. “I’ve been learning about how to talk out my emotions with Moritz and I now realize how shitty I was being to you. You had every right to dump me and you had every right to slam the door in my face just now. I’m not expecting us to go back to how we were or for things to ever be the same. But I do know that I’m sorry and that I missed my friend.” Once Ilse was done she looked up at Wendla with tears in her eyes. 

“Okay,” Wendla said curtly, turning around to go back inside.

“What do you mean, ‘okay?’” Ilse stepped forward, grabbing Wendla harshly by the forearm. 

“Get your hands off of me,” Wendla’s voice was laced with venom. Ilse had never heard her this mad before. Ilse immediately retracted her arm. “What I mean, is that I don’t know if I can forgive you.”

“I’m not asking you to forgive me. I just want you to accept my apology,” Ilse said, getting more and more defensive as the conversation dragged on. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Ilse knew that they weren’t going to be dating anymore––at least not immediately––but she expected Wendla to accept her apology.

“You were completely awful to me. You made me have panic attacks. You made me cry myself to sleep. You made me want to curl up in a ball and die. All on numerous occasions. I’m finally getting to a better place and you cannot expect to just waltz back into my life.” Each sentence was a punch to Ilse’s stomach and she was done being sensible.

“Wendla,” Ilse shouted, ignoring the way that the girl in front of her flinched. “Why can’t you understand that I’ve changed? Why can’t you just accept the fact that I’m saying sorry? What can I do to show you that I’m serious?” Ilse opened her mouth to continue her line of questioning when her body betrayed her and she started sobbing. She put her head in her hands and leaned against Wendla’s porch to support her body weight. Her knees buckled and she sat down, her shoulders shaking as she continued crying and letting out all of her emotions. She was wrong to come here. She wasn’t ready yet, and neither was Wendla.

**_We know they won't win_ **

Wendla sighed, willing the tears that were welling up in her eyes to go away. Even though she was furious at Ilse, she didn’t like to see her crying. “I’m sorry Ilse. I loved you, still love you. But nothing can fix what you’ve done. And obviously, despite all that talk, nothing has changed.” Wendla closed the door and calmed her breathing. She was going to get through this.

**_We know they won’t win_ **   
  


**Author's Note:**

> this was my first ever angst so i promise i can write better than this. 
> 
> if you have any questions, requests, suggestions, or you just want to chat, you can reach me at my tumblr: brightstagelights.tumblr.com. 
> 
> thank you again to finch for betaing this. love you!!!


End file.
